i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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