is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
