lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
