So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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