I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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