By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
