Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
