i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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