the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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