To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize