You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
