Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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