And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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