You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize