i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
