Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
