We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
