idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
