You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
