He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
