Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
