I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize