Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
