So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
