I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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