He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Found the puke drawer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
