We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
