I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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