i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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