Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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