Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
