I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
