his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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