he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
