Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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