i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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