I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
is that a dick in a sweater?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
