the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
