butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
