what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
