You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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