I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
