We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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