How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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