I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
