i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
