I don't think brook has ever known best
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
