After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
