So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
