oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
