All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
