What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
