Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
