He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
