I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
