Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
