wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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