sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
What a dumb baby whore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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