her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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