Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
