Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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