don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
