somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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