1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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