that's an acceptable place to lick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
